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Co-parenting can be difficult when parents don't live together and are struggling to get along. The SMILE video will be helpful to you whether you are going through a divorce or never lived with the other parent. The Video provided is a courtesy of the Oakland County Friend of the Court.
Man: I find a phone and I realized it was a phone she was using just to talk to him. All my worries and questions were answered.
Child: I just got real scared my Dad would kind of do something.
Woman: I was at home alone spending a lot of time with the kids.
Woman: A lot of things happened that wasn't necessarily positive for a young couple. I started living in my car full time.
Child: I was a little mad because I didn't want to have to pick a parent.
Man: And it put me in a position to obviously to be a dad with a broken number of families.
Man: I committed a crime out of anger.
Woman: I think we both failed in that department because we didn't want to deal with it.
Woman: Then when I had my daughter, things got a little rough. We were both young. It was a lot to deal with.
Man: I kind of hated myself for awhile for kind of what I kind of do. Staying here to fight for what I have which is not much but it's a lot to me.
Man: On my daughter's birthday she wanted to go to a drive in and watch a movie so we took her together because of family. The following day, the mini van was a disaster. Popcorn everywhere, so I wanted to go get the seeds out of the back of the van. I found a phone, and I realized it was a phone she used just to talk to him. All my worries and questions I had and all of that were answered at that moment. I decided to head back to my home town and halfway between was where his house was. You know what, I'm just going to swing by there. I ended up lashing out. I committed a crime out of anger.
Woman: He was a truck driver. He was working for a food company. He was gone a lot. There was a lot of time that I was alone and spending with the kids and By the time he got home he was so tired and there was a breakdown of you know communication. In the end it kind of felt like we were roommates. I think we both failed in that department because we didn't want to deal with it, so We just kind of ended up avoiding each other and you know doing other things to occupy our minds.
Man: And when pulled off the exit to go to his house. I pulled into the driveway and he was actually just standing in the driveway next to his bicycle. The next thing I could do was drive my car and run over his bicycle. I ran his bicycle over and left, and he called the police. The had me in there for open murder. It was an all out manhunt. I surrendered myself and you know whatever, and It didn't go down that bad.
Woman: I was married at 19 and got divorced at 24. It was a lot of pressure because I didn't want to be a divorcee at 24. I'm like how can this just shows automatic failure. A lot of things happened that wasn't necessarily positive for a young couple. I just graduated from college. My ex-husband just got out of prison around that time. And when I had my daughter, things got a little rough. We were both young. It was a lot to deal with. And I think it took a toll on our situation. I met my ex-husband I was in 6th grade. He was my brother's best friend. My brother's 3 years older than me. They were already friends. I always had a crush on him. He never gave me the time of day. I used to tell him we would be together. He like whatever. We ended up being together. He kind of took care of me like I was his child. I depended on him a lot. When I turned 19, he was like well let's get married. And I was like we should get married in the summertime. And he was like no I'm asking you do you want to marry me. I was like what? He was like no do you want to marry me. I was like yea. He was like OK, we're getting married next week and then you won't have to worry about it. We literally got married the next week. But, cause I mean our marriage lasted like 5 years. He did end up going back to prison during the time that we were still married. But when he came out of prison, the next year we ended up having my daughter.
Judge: Very often, the court sees parents who despise the other parent. They forget that they used to love them. They forgot they used to like them. They forget that the other parent gave them the greatest thing in their life. And they're hurting their child. There is no reason to hurt any child. Most parents say they would jump in front of a moving bus, they would take a bullet for their child, but yet they are actually hurting their child on a daily basis by not respecting the other parent. I meet in may kids privately in chamber and it's never just 1 parent they are complaining about. They are complaining about both parents. One might be 99% right, but that there is room for improvement. We all could be better parents. And it's all about the kids and they need to remember that.
Woman: The criteria was: how close was it to my daughter's school and what neighborhood it's in. Literally, the day I signed my lease was 2 days before I was supposed to go to China for a month. I didn't really get a chance to really like do a lot of background checks on companies, so for a whole month even though it was paid for I never lived there. So when I got back, I tried to cut on heat because it was a little cold, I don't hear anything, I don't feel nothing. So I put in a work order on line and that week turned into like a month, and they hadn't did anything, and I'm like this is dangerous like I can't keep sleeping in this house. It's getting cold. It's illegal like I'm gonna lose my daughter if someone finds out about this. Like this is gonna be bad, so I started living in my car full time. I had to make a decision. I've gotta give my daughter to this man who really don't like me too much, but it's her father. When I used to get off super late at like 2 and 3 o'clock in the morning, it was like OK, I just need somewhere to park. As long as I keep 10 dollars in my gas tank, It'll run my gas tank all night, and I'm not gonna run out of gas. I would recline my seat all the way back and curl up in a ball and keep my heat on. I just knew as long as I had 10 dollars in my tank I'm good. I would take a shower like in between friends' houses or at the gym. I did that until like May.
Man: My life then til now has always been I guess me trying to search where I wanna be. Graduated high school, went to college for a year, and decided to go to the military. I wanted to see what it was about. It wasn't about me going to be a hero, and me going to save and this. I wanted to I guess be important to somebody. I wanted to feel like I was important to somebody. I wanted to be you know the master of my own future, so I just went to the military, and I went in for 8 years. I was a medic. While I was in, I had when we were in Missouri, their Mom Liz, and she lives in Arkansas now, Gavin was next and his mom's Nicki, Olivia was next with Jess, and Aiden is the youngest and his mom is you know Alisha. So I got 5 kids, 4 mothers, which is the biggest juggle of my life. I guess a lack of knowledge of how to be in a relationship or how a relationship is supposed to be put me in a position obviously to be a dad with a broken number of families. So I kind of hated myself for awhile for what kind of family I built until I realized what I had. If things do get a little harder, I mean my Mom, she had 18 of her own, and she raised several of her daughter's kids, so me having 5 kids is normal. Because when they're all gone, I am lost, I have no idea who I am, I don't wanna be home, cause I don't have to cook a giant meal, I can't cook just for myself so I either work all the time or I just hibernate in my room somewhere.
Worker: You have to really go into what are your emotions. Are you really in tune with why you are so hurt. What has really happened? Maybe you need individual counseling to sort out that with someone private. Really address what those issues are underlying that hurt you and hurt the relationship. And maybe the next step would be maybe can you communicate some of those to this partner or ex-partner. Are you able to somewhat address these things then put them aside and prioritize on these minor children that you're both trying to create and grow into successful adults.
Man: I was the one that filed for divorce. It wasn't just blind-siding me. I wasn't prepared to deal with the loneliness that comes afterward. It was not about our relationship that I was so devastated about. It was about the commotion that I missed. I mean, just mayhem. You got all the stuff that goes on when you have kids, and then all of a sudden I'm sitting there alone not knowing what to do. I'd sit and watch sports center 7 times in a row. I couldn't have told you a score of any game because I just didn't know what to do with myself. All of a sudden everything was different. That just built up resentment, anger, everything else. I didn't know how to talk to anybody. I didn't know how to release it. I refused to do any of that stuff.
Child: The first time that they went to see each other, I was really scared. I was at my school once, and my dad was there. My mom got out of the car to start talking to him, and I was really scared that my dad might do something. I was just really scared.
Man: It built up like a volcano, and eventually it just came out of me. I had a run-in with Jennifer where she was just giving me a hard time about the kids. And she was threatening to not let me see the kids.
Attorney: Often times parents make mistakes. They make mistakes because they're reacting to things they perceive. They're often times very angry or hurt or they have feelings of betrayal and act emotionally. and the other side will react to those emotional experience. but what happens is the children will become the innocent victims of this emotional decision that parents are making. They do things their children will feel the effect.
Woman: Once we went to court and we had said everything we were gonna go do, I ended up submitting paperwork caused I moved to this place. I was able to seeing my daughter more regularly. I used to wonder like wow you know, will me and my ex-husband ever get to the point where we are like friends again or where we can see each other and not argue. The same passion you fell in love with typically is the same passion you have when you're divorcing that person. Everything you would give to this person because you really love them is everything you would be willing to do because that person is going to hurt you.
Child: I was a little sad. I was a little mad because I didn't want to have to pick a parent. I didn't want to have to choose parents because I thought it would be like mean to both parents because they are both good parents. So if I choose the parent you'll like make one of them feel the take away.
Worker: The children don't know how to really handle this adjustment. It's all new to them. So you'll see more anxiety. You might see a decrease in academic functioning. Obviously some sadness and maybe some depression that might follow or irritability. Validating that emotion for these children, letting them know I see that your sad. I see that you're upset about this. Letting them know that they have that voice and that's OK.
Man: Going to prison, being out of the kid's life that long, it really put things into perspective for both me and her I believe.
Woman: Well it wasn't easy. It was obviously very hard on the kids. It was a day-to-day experience. You never knew if they were going to be sad, angry. They had lots of questions you know, why did he leave us, doesn't he love me. Any emotion a human being is gonna have, i mean, you know. For you're angry about it, then you're sad about it,you accept it, then you deal with it, then all of a sudden their back and you're like holy cow, now I've gotta experience this whole other aspect of it, which is a better aspect than the other way, but at the same time is a whole emotional process for the kids again. I mean, when he left, Maverick was not even yet. And when he got out, she was almost So, there is a huge gap in there. So, it was like she didn't realize like, oh, I have a different dad because my husband now has been in the picture.
Attorney: What we wanted to do is tell parents that we understood what they were going through dealing with the emotions of family breakup or that if children were out of wedlock that they wanted to be able to see children. So what they are going through is real and normal and it's not something they should be ashamed of. And then we would provide education to help them through that process. And also let them know that their children are going through the same thing at the same time. You know when parents decide to divorce, it's an adult decision, but for children it's almost like a drive-by shooting. They're just sitting there and all of these things just happen to change their life.
Man: We didn't get the you know, the late night conversations about hey i like this girl so what should i do? or hey I have a situation in school and I don't know how to handle it. I didn't get the advice about these things from my parents because my pops didn't really have to pass down like that. My mom, she had the knowledge, but not like I have now. I realized once I had my kids and my brothers how we were raised then, we don't wanna raise our kids that way. We don't wanna have to yell all of the time.
Child: When they mess around with him, it's just so fun. He'll like tickle us and make sure we can't move, and it's just so fun and we are always laughing and happy. He would trap us with his legs and we could not get out.
Man: I wouldn't settle for anything less than what my kids were supposed to have. Our kids were supposed to have. I didn't want to be told this is what you're supposed to have. My whole life was this is who you're supposed to have. My whole life was this is who you're supposed to be. I didn't know what I was supposed to be or what I what i want to be so I want to be dad. So, I just fought for what I know my kids needed and it was a right to see both parents.
Judge: Parents have to love their child more than they dislike the other parent. The bottom line is that if the parents can't cooperate, communicate, or co-parent it's going to hurt the child. And then they are going to have a stranger in a black robe making decisions for their household.
Woman: When things are taken away it kind of makes you step back and realize like Oh, you know, it wasn't all my fault or it wasn't all his fault. We're both accountable. You know, we both were at fault.
Man: First you wanna push the blame on everyone else. You wanna be like Well if she didn't do this, then I wouldn't have done this and we wouldn't be here. Eventually you get past the anger and the pushing the blame onto other people. You get to the point where you are saying All I can control is myself and all I can do is look at the bright side of things. Even now it's not all rainbows and butterflies between us all of the time.
Worker: Initially a lot of families come into my office very stressed and with a lot of conflict. This is new to them. They have a lot of emotions on their own and trying to deal with those and processing the changes they have to go through. So, initially there is a lot of conflict. First I have to breakdown the communication piece of putting emotions aside and focusing on the best interest of the children. But also focusing on where is their end goal, what are they trying to achieve by having these discussions or these conflicts. And so i always ask parents, before you send that letter, or that text message, what is the end goal? What are you trying to achieve? Are you trying to guilt trip them into something? Are you trying to actually get confirmation about something? And if its an emotionally-charged response, don't send that message. Right, don't send that email because that creates more tension that is unnecessary, that didn't need to happen. So really having the parents reflect on how are they communicating and what is something that each of them can change a little bit to have better cohesion.
Woman: If he didn't live up to my standards, I was hard on him. And once he saw that I wanted him to really be involved and I wasn't going to tell him what he should do in his house. So, once I realized my problems and my faults and I was willing to look in the mirror and look at things i needed to work on, once i realized that people, personalities and their feelings are based on what you give them. Sometimes, you gotta push and pull. But, if you could be smooth in the middle then everything work out. So now we made it so where we don't have to see each other too much. When we do see each other it is at the school plays or events and is Natalie is happy because both of her parents are there and it's never hostile anymore.
Child: Dad used stay bad things about mom and mom used to say bad things about dad, and it made me feel like both of you are bad parents. And, I don't want to feel like you are bad parents because both of you are really good parents.
Attorney: You can't badmouth the other parent even if they may deserve it in the earshot of the child. When the do that, the child feels responsible. Parents don't understand that the children love both parents, and even if that parent has done things that they shouldn't have and they're not good parents, you have to remember that parent and that child are still connected and they feel responsibility and they feel hurt.
Man: Sometimes I just drop things. Sometimes we discuss things and get things worked out. Sometimes I just bite my tongue. It is what it is sometimes, and she does the same with me, I know she does. I know she's annoyed with certain things. Sometimes she tells me, and sometimes she doesn't.
Woman: There's a couple of annoyances here and there. I'm out running errands you brought the kids home to early, you didn't tell me. Things like that. We're going to be the kids' parents for the rest of our lives, so if we have the same views and the same goals and whatnot for the kids, I mean there is no reason for us not to get along. I mean, I jsut think communication is key.
Child: I think it's just better when we can just hang out and actually spend together as like all of us. Now I can I guess hang out with my real dad, and I really like it.
Man: Having time for yourself. Focusing on yourself. Figuring out yourself, and learning to be happy. It takes time. Each person needs to heal I guess. I mean, I guess that's maybe what I did.
Worker: Parents need to be able to go through their own grieving process like that because they're used to not having to share time with their children. So it can be very frustrating at first. A lot of emotions can be attached to that because they want to be able to have 100% time with their children. So realizing they have to emotionally work through that, maybe going to support groups maybe having their own individual therapy to process through those sad feelings, but then understanding when you do have your child for that time really making the most out of that. Making some time adjustments now that you are a single-child household and how you can prioritize your children when you do have them.
Attorney: Children shouldn't be made to feel that divorce is something bad that happened to them, but rather to be able to show something positive.
Man: My kids have a step-dad now, and he's a great father. I'm really very thankful that he is such a great father and he treats my kids like they are his own kids. They're taken care of financially. They are loved. Everything they had when while we were married, and I'm still in their life, and because we have a good relationship, my kids can see me any day.
Child: Issac, he kind of helps me on the more educational side, and my dad helps me on the sports part. My dad will take me to the parks, and do plays for me for football and stuff. i have a person to teach me about school that can help me in school and a person to help me in sports. And so basically like it's 2 people to talk to like you always have someone to talk to, so it's pretty fun.
Woman: In the beginning it was really hard to let them go, but it wasn't about me, it was about the kids and what they wanted, and what was good for them. And they had already missed out on so much time with him. I had to just trust the process. I just had to trust that everything that was going to work out.
Judge: Parents have to work together for the best interest of their child. What we see a lot is that parents want more time, more quantity, so as judges we are constantly telling people because you have chosen to get divorced, you are not going to have the quantity that you want. It's about quality. It's about parenting your child so your child has an awesome childhood.
Man: This co-parenting situation is probably the hardest thing anybody would do in their life. It was like war. Which is sad, and I don't get it. It should be easy to co-parent, but a lot of people's emotions get tied into it. It ends up being about how your parenting relationship is going, which is how we should do for the kids, and it's more important than how you made me feel over how what we're doing is making the kids feel.
Child: I'm just waiting for them to stop arguing and get along more often and stop fighting over the simplest stuff. I honestly don't think about the choices they make. As long as I get to see them both, I'm fine with it as long as I get to see them.
Man: My kids are the reason why staying here and making this everyday struggle. I mean they're the reason why I can't quit. I mean I don't want them to see me as a quitter or giving up because our kids learn 90% of what they need to know in life from us. You know they can go outside and experience a lot outside this house, a lot, but still what they saw here first is what they saw first. If you don't give them something to compare with what they see outside, that's what they're going to hold on to. Outside is what they got if you don't give them something inside. Stay here and fight for what I have which isn't much, but is a lot to me. It's more than what I had growing up, so that my kids are the reason why it's so important for me to stay here and do all that stuff I have to do.
Child: We can always guarantee he keeps everyone fed and everyone happy. He's trying to get a job where he can be around the house more often so he can hang out with us, get to know us better.
Worker: Right now, they're little sponges, right. They're picking up everything these parents are doing. The modeling long term how you should handle conflict, what should a normal or healthy household look like. So important that you're modeling good structure, good communication, problem solving, healthy coping skills. All of these things that are going to set the tone for when they are off away from your house. Whether they are in college, living by themselves, having their own families. They're picking up so much from what mom and dad are doing in the household.
Woman: You don't have to always argue with the other parent, and you don't to have to send messages back through the child with the other parent. or don't talk bad about the other parent with your girlfriend in front of your child because then your child internalizes that and thinks something bad about the other parent. So really try not to say something bad about the other parent, even when he was skipping out on his child support when he has to pay, even when he'd say he was going to come pick her up and he didn't come. I have to stop, I have to not show her that part.
Child: I think it's really awesome because I don't have to like choose who I like best. I don't gotta say I like mom best and then make my dad feel bad. i don't gotta say i like dad best and make my mom feel bad. I just get to hang around both of them and I don't have to choose sides. So that's really cool.
Attorney: Even though you're no longer going to be related to each other because of the split up, it is important to understand you are still family to the same children, and I child will hold back from you if they think you don't want to hear what their true feelings are. By giving the child the right to love the other parent, you are in fact opening a door between you and your own child that will never be closed. An example would be a case I was involved in where the parents did not get along, they didn't talk to each other. But, the child came back one day from a parenting time and went to the dad's house, and he was living pirmarily with my dad at the time. And he said my mom is not going to get me next Wednesday night. And the father said Well why not?. And he said because she's getting an award of employee of the year. And he though for a second and was about to say it's great she's such a fantastic employee. it's too bad she's such a lousy mother. but he didn't. He held his tongue this time. And he thought about what he learned from SMILE, and he went to the phone and he called the flower shop to be delivered to the mother on that day that she was going to be given the award. And when they asked for the card to that hey wanted with the flowers he said mom I'm very proud of you. i love you, and he signed his sons name. Now his son heard this and he said wow dad, why did you do this?, and he said because it's the right thing to do. Remember, children learn from what you tell them that they'll remember from what they see and what they experience. Well a few days later when the event occurred, he told me, this man that did this, he told me he got a phone call, phone rang, and his son answered the phone, and it was his mother, and she said she was crying that she said I just got your flowers, and no award they could have given today would have been more important than the flowers I got from you. And he said when his son hung up the phone, he gave is dada a hug and a kiss which was something he normally received from his child, they were demonstrative, however he said he felt something from his child that day, that he had never felt before and he realized that the flowers may had been a gift to his ex-spouse who really didn't like, but the flowers were something that opened a door between him and his child because it told him his child he had a right to love his mother and he could share that with father and that was something that may have been done for the ex-wife but it was a bond in a relationship that can never be changed between the father and the child.
Man: I needed to communicate. Not just my kids deserved it. My kids mother deserved a better person to communicate with. They can be horrible, evil people. Still doesn't matter. You need to learn to be able to communicate with horrible, evil people. The most amazing people, whatever it is, communication was huge for me and I think that you have to accept first and foremost i think is what is most important accept the fact that your in it. Our kids are getting old enough to where they're gonna have their own lives. I want them to come talk to me about things. I want them to come talk to me about girls because to me it's gonna be fun with my boys to talk to me about girls. With my daughter it's gonna be a horror show talking about boys. Opportunity to talk to them was important to me or better yet flip that the opportunity for them to talk to me is really important. That's my goal now. I think that's my number one goal every day is to be able to have my kids come talk to me if they're stressed out or if I said something that offended them, I want them to be comfortable enough to come say hey, dad you know we talked the other day or just earlier and you hurt my feelings. I want them to say that.
Woman:Child: We can just go to him and he will help us. This one night I can't go to sleep and I went to my dad and he helped he let me lay in his bed and I got a good sleep.
Man: I'm grateful my kids are I'm sure grateful because they see me happier these days because they see I'm more relaxed, i'm not just tense, i'm not just here. I'm actually in it. I never got when people bragged about their kids until I started to be able to talk more about my kids. I started taking joy and my kids make me happy. So now i'm enjoying these crazy nut balls man. You know I'm happier now because they're happy.
Child: We just like playing games with each other, hanging out, it's pretty nice overall.
Judge: We believe that there is never too much information you can give the other parent. You need to treat the other parent how you want to be treated. You need to extend an olive branch. You need to be kind, considerate, classy, and professional, and hopefully the other side will see that, appreciate it, and treat you the same way, and you'll never have to come in front of a court, never have to spend money on an attorney, never have to say the system's the worst. So it starts at home with the adults acting like adults. And the adults treating children as their priority because it's all about the kids.
Woman: If I call him now, I'll be like hey can you take Lilly?, He won't do it every day but he'll be like Okay, this sounds important. Or for example, they have arts and crafts on Friday so Lilly called me, I was in the middle of working, but because I have a highly flexible job, I told her I would be there in 20 minutes. So I didn't get mad at Aaron or say like Hey Aaron you wasn't here to pick up the baby, what's going on? I was just like, I don't know what's going on, I'll ask questions later. Let me just go pick her up. Then he called me apologizing, I know this is your day to work. I don't want to you to have to take off work. I'm sorry. That wasn't the response I was gonna get 10 years ago. You know what I'm saying. My daughter now can have a balanced thing. Now she says Wow, mommy, I don't know you were the fun mommy."
Child: I think it's awesome because I can see my dad more often and I can see my mom more often.
Man: It is an every day struggle. I have forgiven whether there is an apology or not. I mean, it's not worth it anymore.
Worker: Understanding that if they could get to forgiving and saying "There have been hard things in my life. This ex has hurt me to my core. Has created this uprooting of a lifestyle that I was used to." Being able to forgive is very you know tearful emotions in those sessions, a lot of yelling in those sessions because there is so much pent up. Really feeling free of that allows them to say "Can I move forward now?".
Man: The twins were probably 8. I had an awakening moment. I came home. The twins did something they weren't supposed to do. I was gonna talk to them. I was sitting there yelling at them and trying to discipline them. One of the twins I told him to come here and come talk to me and he was like "No.", and I was like my mind was blown like literally. It was the first time I can really say my mind was blown and I was like "Wow, did he just say no to me?". So, I stopped for a moment thank God. I was like "So what do you mean no, why would you say no to me? I mean, explain to me." "You never play with us." My heart broke. "You never play with us. All you do is come home and stay upstairs." I'm like "Oh my gosh." I realized I was playing dad, but I was just a roommate. I didn't spend that actual real quality time. I actually became dad and not just the man that's actually providing for you. And they became my kids and not just someone I'm protecting. It breaks my heart, even to this day. The thought of your kids wondering what dad and mom's thinking or why can't dad or mom play with me just breaks my heart so.
Child: It wasn't very fun when they still wouldn't get along. It would always kind of make me afraid and then I didn't really like it so, I mean, it makes me feel a lot better now that they all get along. Like when they started getting long, I'm like "Whoa, now maybe we can start hanging out and like see each other."
Child: They didn't get along so well. They couldn't talk without arguing about something. So now they can actually have a conversation, so it's basically like they're friends. It's way better than it was. I love it.
Woman: Just trying to accommodate for the other parent's life is important and I learned that it since it took both to make the baby if you give both of the parents the opportunity to step up up and do it, it works out. It worked out for me and my ex-husband because I was able to let up and let him do his father thing his own way. It's a progression, and I do feel like anybody can achieve whatever they want if they look at their schedule and try to make it work for them. It took years. It wasn't like an overnight thing. Pressure it either breaks pipes or it makes diamonds and i feel like i came out a diamond because i didn't let the pressure break me.
Man: First and foremost, don't hate yourself. I hated myself for at least a couple years because of the life I provided for my family. As a man, you want to provide a life your family can be proud of, and they can flourish and just accept that fact that you're a father, accept the fact that you have a little one that's looking up at you, and you're the first thing they wanna see and move towards doing something better. Everything you do literally is for them. Everything you do literally affects them, so the kids gotta know who you are. It's up to you to accept you, love you, be like you, or reject you and wanna forget about you because you're not there. Those are the only options you have when it comes to that once you accept the fact that you're in there.
Man: Staying angry at someone is only hurting you. It's not hurting them. That's what it comes down to. It bleeds to every other aspect of your life. You can't go on and have a normal relationship with some else. You can't have a relationship with your kids. I acted wrong, you know, I didn't, I should have did things differently. We got to that point because the situation I put myself into. I hope other people can get to that point without going through the same situation.
Attorney: Do you really wanna do that to your children? And then have parents understand that they're tied to each other for the rest of their lives. Children are often times forgotten in this process. You can't escape this responsibility. If you choose to have children, you have to put yourself second often times to the needs of your children.